its time to vent

people piss me off.
seriously.
the stupidity of their ignorance.
their total lack of common sense and intelligence.
their fear of not understanding something and turning their fear into distaste.

it makes me sick.

this utter disgust for people has come about through an expression of art known as tattooing.

we were each born into our own bodies.
we don't share with anyone else.
we aren't owned by anyone else.
we are our own person.
with our own opinions, our own perspective and our own free will.

i knew long before anyone else that i seemed to walk with a different stride.
so many times in life i feel like i've been walking against the flow of the religious bullshit i've been surrounded by. (i apologize if the language is a little rough but i just call it as i see it)
in the younger years it was visits to the office. not being sent there but marching in and making my point that some teacher was wrong. or something taught in bible class was against the very person of who God is.
as i got older, it began in the church. meetings with pastors for things that apparently "i didn't understand". me trying to get them to see that it was religion that was the foundation, not God. not love.
the older i get, the more it seems apparent to me.
i'm my own person.
Gods own creation.
unique in every way.
i fight against hate. against those who hate on what they don't understand.
the only thing is ... they don't understand.
as much as i want them to see what i see and feel what it is i feel... no amount of words can do that.

i'm ... as my baby so kindly puts it ... a "tattoo-head".
i love that.

not because it makes me a rebel, or puts in a different class then others but because right now, this is me ... and i'm wearing it on my sleeve.

believe it or not .. going against the grain is hard for me. i'm emotional. it hurts. but its who i am and the only thing that would hurt more ... is denying myself that right.

venting complete.

sometimes

sometimes the best things in life are the hardest.

its been one of those days.
one of the 'tough' days where you dont really understand why it is you do what you do.
why it is you say what you say
why sometimes you feel like you can't control any of them.

its one of those moments where the only thing i can do is sit on the couch, write some nonsense and try to make some sense out of it. try to figure out what it is that is so hard and seemingly 'unattainable'.

its one of those 'beaten down' days. where your self talk is the thing you are fighting.

don't get me wrong i'm not all depressed and feeling like its the end of the world or anything. its just a daily battle that today i'm feeling a little tired to fight.